Module 9

Equal partners. On paper, it sounds like a great concept; however, the actual practice of it sounds unlikely.

The purpose of this entry is not to focus on whether or not a man or woman should head a relationship, but if a relationship should have a head. I am under the impression that a relationship is built on compromises, and one built on total collaboration, while another great concept, is too lofty of an idea to see any consistent real world examples. Consider a committee where every member has the same amount of power, and each member is adamant in not changing his or her position on a topic. Standstills like this won't be solved through the power of a vote if there is no majority. In the event of a tie, someone with more power must step and decide and which way the final result will fall, otherwise the committee is left to argue until someone decides to defect to another side.

To me, a relationship is kind of like that committee, if there is no give in either direction, then no problem will ever be solved. In the initial stages of courtship, both parties are likely to understand that compromises need to be made in order to not chase the other away -- being steadfast is likely to end a potential relationship before it actually begins. The scripts each person follows helps guide him or her through the delicate early stages of a relationship and solidify it into something more concrete. Once the two become more confident with the limits of other, they will most likely push the envelope to determine how far they can go without chasing the other away. During this time, the more submissive partner will see his or herself losing leeway on topics he or she may have not been successful at winning before, and as a result, a head emerges.

Ultimately, responsibilities should be proportionately distribute to all members of a relationship. Equal distribution may not occur and would depend on each partner's role. The above is a general guess on how many relationships in America exist; I personally would prefer to think that head changes depending on the situation.